


Bea and Bri's Big Fat Yu-Gi-Oh! Adventure

by freakfangirlings



Series: Anime Saviour Society (ASS) [1]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series
Genre: Crack, Fangirls, Gen, Kidnapping, Original Character(s), POV Original Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 18:20:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3080534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freakfangirlings/pseuds/freakfangirlings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Absolutely every fangirl dreams about meeting her favourite anime character, heck ANY anime character! But poor Bri gets a little more than she asked for when a certain someone comes chasing after her requesting hugs. With the help of her best friend and two gay guys, can she finish this Kuriboh quest of Little proportions?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take us too seriously. Most of this was written when I was thirteen at ungodly hours of the morning. This is purely for our own entertainment. Warning: Massive tone shift at the end of chapter four. Seriously. The mood COMPLETELY changed. It goes from terrifying kidnapping experience to bra jokes and streaking. Hope you enjoy?

"Hmm…" I bit my tongue in concentration, "What do you think, Bea?"

I shoved the laptop in her face, just to make sure she saw it.

"Um," Bea pushed the laptop away and squinted at the screen, "What exactly is it? The picture is just black."

"That's 'cause the card is Darkness!" I giggled.

"Well that's nice." she replied, returning to her own computer.

"What 'cha making for your card?" I asked, glancing at her screen.

"Cardcaptor Sakura." she grinned pointing at the card on the screen, "Her special ability is stealing a card from the opponent's deck!"

"Well, the Darkness card smothers people to death…" I grumbled.

"Once again, that's nice, Bri." said Bea, keeping her eyes locked on the screen as she spoke.

I sighed dramatically and threw myself onto the bed. Bea held her Mac tightly until the shaking stopped, then started typing again. I scowled and tried again. Heaving another sigh, I tossed from side to side letting my arms flail around loosely.

"Would you mind doing that on the floor?" Bea asked irritably.

"Yes. I would mind. The floor isn't nearly as comfy as the bed." I crossed my arms and tried to make an intelligent looking face. It didn't work. Bea stared at me for a second, then burst into laughter.

"It wasn't  _that_ bad, was it?"

Bea nodded in between snickers.

"Ha!" I exclaimed.

"What?"

A grin overtook my face, "I just had the best idea for a card  _ever_."

Bea gave me a incredulous look and opened her laptop, "I'll believe it when I see it."

And once again I lost my best friend to the internet, but this time, I didn't mind as much. I'd show her that I could make cool cards too. I retrieved my laptop and worked away.

* * *

"Night-night, Bea." I yawned, "See you on Monday!"

"See you!" Bea waved.

It was only after I had started walking that I realized how dark it was. If it weren't for the street lights, I wouldn't have been able to see my hand in front of my face. My second realization was that I was much to near the woods for my comfort. With thoughts of the dark and the woods, my mind reeled and suddenly I found myself imagining a tall, pale white, featureless, suit clad figure hiding between the trees.

_Don't think about him. Don't think about him. Don't think about him. Wait; does thinking about not thinking about him count as thinking about him? Crap! I've been thinking about him the whole time! I'm going to be eaten by the Slenderman!_

I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself down.  _I'm being stupid, the Slenderman isn't real!_ Even though I thought that, I still couldn't quit thinking about the Slenderman.

I thought that if I distanced myself from the woods I'd calm down and start thinking straight. But soon I was nowhere near the woods and still felt anxious and uneasy. I kept glancing behind my shoulder and though I saw nothing, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was there, watching me, following me. I quickened my pace, hoping -whatever it was- couldn't smell fear. But the feeling only grew; now I could hear its footsteps only a little while back behind me.

_Come on now, rationalize. Logic blah, blah, blah! Science blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah! You're imagining it all._ I tried to think like Bea would in this type of situation.

Then it was right there, I could feel the heat radiating off its body, feel its breath on my neck and its arms around my torso.

"You looked like you needed a hug!" The voice was immediately recognizable as was the laughter that followed.

Before I could scream or even whimper, a cloth was violently shoved over my mouth and nose. Without thinking, I breathed in and I automatically knew that I shouldn't have. The world around me began to fade to black.

I was released from my captor embrace and fell to the ground. I managed to get one clear look before I fell unconscious. What I saw was all my worst nightmares come true. Crazed eyes, tan skin, wild blond hair and the laugh, everything was a perfect portrayal of _Melvin_.

And everything descended into dreams…

 


	2. In Which Silence is Broken

I tried to convince myself that it was only a nightmare, that I hadn't just woken to pitch blackness, the steady rumbling of an engine, my mouth duct taped and my hands and feet tied tightly together. But as the rope dug into wrists painfully, I thought it was about time to accept reality and face the truth; I had just been kidnapped by a fictional character. And not just any fictional character, a fictional character whom I just happened to fear; I was still hoping that I'd wake up any moment.

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I tried to make out my surroundings. My heart stopped. I hoped that I was hallucinating but -with all current events- I knew that I wasn't. Lying opposite of me was a chainsaw. It was then that I became all too aware of a sickly-sweet scent wafting up my nostrils; blood.

I suddenly felt sick, but that didn't stop me from staring at the dark droplets that were slowly dripping from the chainsaw and puddling beneath it. The previous was my only entertainment for a long expanse of time, at least until Melvin turned the radio up, but I didn't much care for his choice in music.

"Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your girlfriend! No way! No way! Think you need a new one!" it was obvious Melvin and Marik shared the same vocal chords. I wasn't sure if it was intended torture, or just Melvin having fun, either option gave me shivers.

The car stopped; as did Melvin's torture (or singing, whatever you want to call it). I could hear the muffled sound of the door slamming and my eyes widened in terror. Footsteps drew closer, my heart pounded in my ears; I squinched my eyes shut as if that would make the horrible reality come to a close. Sadly, it didn't.

Sunlight streamed in and warmth flooded my body, but that didn't stop the shaking. I finally opened my eyes, one at a time. I'd been hoping that maybe I wouldn't see Melvin looming over me, that maybe instead it would be Bea, that maybe this was all some practical joke. But, the first thing I saw was in fact Melvin. I was filled with a feeling of dread, now knowing this was all much too real. I'd probably never see Bea again; it was going to be really difficult surviving in Hell without her.

"Go ahead and scream if you want. It's music to my ears!" Melvin laughed.

I mustered all my courage to glare at him, but faltered and fell into tears.

"Oh, that's right, you can't. Let me take care of that." Melvin reached for the tape over my mouth.

He grinned as I flinched away from his touch. Melvin played with my fear, resting his bronze hand on my cheek. Shivers ran down my spine; his hand was freezing. Luckily my suffering didn't last long and he ripped the tape off in one swift movement.

Melvin seemed extremely disappointed that I wasn't screaming. Little did he know that I was biting my lip just to stifle any scream that crawled up my throat.

"You should probably let all your screams out before we get in town or people might think your weird."

If opened my mouth I knew that it was very possible that I would scream. I shook my head as a reply instead.

"You've got nowhere to run, so you might as well just settle yourself in up front." Melvin explained as he untied my hands and feet.

I looked around, sure enough; there was really no place to go. For miles, there was only desert, dirt and road. It would have been just plain stupid to even attempt to escape, so I did as Melvin suggest and obediently in front.

"Now that's a good kitty!" Melvin laughed, taking his seat at the wheel.

We sat in silence for one… two… three minutes before Melvin said something.

"Will you put your friggin seatbelt on already!" he snapped.

And so (after my seatbelt had been safely clicked on) Melvin started the engine and we drove off onto the open road with Melvin's singing disrupting any possible peace and quiet in the world. I didn't know what was going on, why it was happening or even how it was happening let alone where the bloody hell we were going.

 


	3. In Which Bri Meets Real Men

In a way Melvin's music was comforting, if compared to the torturous silence I'd have to endure if he shut it off. With the music on I could close my eyes and imagine that I wasn't sitting in a car with Melvin, that, instead, I was on road trip with Bea- who was singing oddly out of key… sadly the image didn't fit with what I was hearing. I couldn't even imagine Bea  _ever_ singing out of key.

I had a lot of time to think during that drive and suddenly hit me that Melvin was an anime character. Anime characters aren't supposed to be real, they're only supposed to exist in the anime universe. And if Melvin's here then… were any of the rest of them here too?

Buildings started to become more common as the desert wore on. Soon I found myself in a city, surrounded by people just living their everyday lives. I felt sick; what if I never got to live like that again? What about school? My friends? My life? With each question I watched my reflection grow paler.

I was brought back to reality with a jolt; somebody had opened my door..

"Welcome."

Right then, I knew that none of it was real. It was completely impossible for any of it to be happening. I thought that I had to be in a coma and that's why I couldn't wake up. Next thing I knew the Doctor would probably land the TARDIS right in front of me.

Standing before me was the most attractive man I had ever seen. His pale skin was practically luminescent, glowing in the brightly lit corridor. Amber eyes. A-M-B-E-R.  _Who has amber eyes?_ It was just unreal. A few strands of his raven black hair hung over his face, the rest was pulled back into a long silky pigtail.

He took my hand, his warmth startled me, proved to me that I was indubitably awake.

"Come now, no need to be afraid." He said in hushed tones, pulling me forward out of the car.

My footsteps echoed off the marble floor. I could now see that the bright lights were that of chandeliers, but, mostly, it was the rest of the room that shocked me. The walls were crimson red lined with gold trim. The architecture reminded me of the Yakuza. The successful Yakuza.

The angel that had helped me out of the car was not the only one, I observed. There was a line of men, each sporting Yakuza-like white pants and blazers and black dress shirts with first several buttons undone. It must have been uniform for them, I guess.

"Quit flirting and show us to our room, Karl!" Melvin's voice chimed in impatiently.

"Of course milord." 'Karl' bowed and began to walk purposefully down the corridor.

When I didn't follow Melvin shouted back to one of the men. "Cleveland, get her into some appropriate clothing."

A man with messy red hair stepped forward from the line, bowed, and took my arm. I examined every inch of his face; there wasn't a single freckle. How could one have bright red hair and no freckles? The only solution I could come to was that he was a hand-made android. Even his face seemed to have been sculpted; only hands could have shaped his high cheekbones.

"In here." Cleveland indicated, nudging the door open with elbow.

I stepped in tentatively. It was a change room, there were clothes set out on the ottoman, full length mirrors and make-up parlor. Somebody had obviously put a lot of work into designing every detail of the room.

As I bent to look at the clothes that had been set out for me I felt someone undoing my dress. I whipped around as quickly as I could to find a startled Cleveland.

"What the hell are you doing!?" I snapped.

"I was helping you undress-" he started.

"I learned how to undress myself when I was two, I think I can manage on my own," I replied hastily and grabbed the dress that had been laid out for me, "Do you mind?"

"I can't leave, I've been stationed here." Cleveland answered coolly, obviously offended that I wouldn't let him undress me.

"Could you at least turn around?" I asked hopefully.

"I can't take my eyes off of you."

"That's nice and all, but I've got to get changed and I'm not really one to strip for strangers, that's more my mother's area of expertise."

"Well, I guess you'll have to deal with it." He sat, a faint smile on his mouth.

I glared at him, pouting. "Disgusting pervert…" I grumbled.

Cleveland rolled his eyes. "Be happy you at least got me instead of Karl."

"What do you mean by that? He seemed nice enough." I wondered aloud, sitting myself down next to him.

"Sure, on the outside, but on the inside he was probably undressing you with his eyes. One piece of clothing at a time. He wouldn't stop if you said no, he gets off on it."

"And you?"

Cleveland shrugged. "At least I'm not as bad as him."

"So I should count myself lucky, then?" I stood, dress in hand.

"Pretty much."

I tried to undo my dress. It didn't work. Flustered, I looked at Cleveland.

"I suppose we're not really strangers anymore…" I sighed, "Would you mind helping me out?"

Grinning, Cleveland came to my aid.

"Not so self dependant, are you?" he mocked.

"Oh, shut it." I grumbled.

Eventually, after several embarrassing minutes, I managed to dress myself fully. I took a look in the mirror. It was a casino dress, like you'd see in one of those old films, a black fitted dress with a slit up one leg. It wasn't exactly something I would've chosen myself, but I couldn't help but admire my reflection.

Cleveland took out my pigtails and my blond hair fell to my shoulders.

"Do I have to have my hair like this?"

"Actually, yes, you do. Pigtails are childish and that's not what he's looking for."

"By 'he' do you mean Melvin?"

Cleveland quieted and I got the impression he'd said too much. After a moment's pause he said, "It's not my place to tell you. Let's go."

 


	4. In Which the Story Really Begins

It's easy to forget something important when you're having fun, but usually someone might forget that they had an appointment at 3 'o clock or something mundane like that. I think I may be the first person ever to forget they'd been kidnapped. It wasn't until Cleveland's headset went off that I was reminded of my situation.

"Cleveland?!" Melvin's voice was clearly audible from the earpiece.

Cleveland flinched then clicked a button on the side of his ear. "Speaking."

"That's 'speaking,  _sir_ ' you little twit!"

"Yes sir."

"I'm sending Karl over to retrieve the girl, she better be ready."

"But I'm perfectly capable of bringing her over myself!" Cleveland protested, his brow creasing in worry.

" _Sir!_ God the help can be so dense sometimes." that was the last we heard of Melvin and so we were left in silence, waiting for Karl's eminent arrival.

"Bri... he'll be here any minute and I just want you to know-" the door crashed against the wall opposite.

"Whoops," Karl stood in the doorway, "I meant to knock but I don't know my strength sometimes, haha. Cleveland looks like you'll be busy fixing this for a while, won't you?"

Karl's eyes glinted. I was beginning to see what Cleveland had been talking about. Speaking of Cleveland, the static was almost visible between him and Karl. I don't think I'd ever seen so much hatred manifest in anyone's eyes, but there it was.

"Well, we'd best be going; you know how impatient he is." Karl smiled, taking my arm.

For a second it looked like Cleveland was going to pull me back. He didn't. And I was lead away from the only sanctuary and peace I'd had in the past couple days. Once more, I was dragged into an unknown hell.

We took hundreds of twists and turns. Karl was leading me deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of doors; I could barely tell left from right by the time he stopped. Karl swiveled on his heels to face me. His eyes alone spoke clearly of my impending doom.

"Right in there, missy." He smiled, pointing one pale finger at the door.

As I grasped the door handle my mind flooded with thoughts _. What if I never came back out? What if when I opened the door Melvin was waiting for me with his chainsaw?_   _No, they wouldn't have brought me this far just to kill me, there's something else, something they have planned for me._

With my heart heavy with these dark imaginings, I opened the door. The room was immediately familiar, an exact replica of Marik's room in Egypt, except for one small change; a large four poster canopy bed with red and gold hangings. Well, I shouldn't have expected anything less.

Melvin was there, lounging on the bed. The sight of him alone struck fear into my heart. I'd never been able to explain to anyone why he scared me so much, he just unnerved me. There had been many nightmares of him, nightmares I never got over and now it was almost as if I was living one of them.

"Sit down." His voice boomed from across the room.

I shook my head.

"Defiant now, aren't we? What made you think you had option?"

Still not willing to speak, I sat on the floor where I stood.

"Get your pretty little white ass on this bed right now or I'll come over to  _make_ you."

I shivered and hesitantly sat on the edge of the bed.

"So I'm sure you've been wondering why I kidnapped you." He paused, waiting for some sort of response.

Not looking at him directly, I nodded.

"Speak up!"

"Yes." My voice was soft and weak, completely unrecognizable.

"Well you should be happy because I'm about to tell you."

I nodded again, looking up a bit more.

"This is a happy moment; smile!"

With all the gusto I could muster, I looked Melvin straight in the face. "Tell me."

"O ho ho! Now that's what I'm talking about! Have you ever heard of Kazuki Takahashi?"

I shook my head.

Melvin looked absolutely aghast. "What the fERK do you mean?! He's the author you imbecile!"

"Oh!  _That_ Kazuki Takahashi!"

"There's not much going on in that little blond head, is there?" Melvin mumbled, "Kazuki Takahashi wrote me out of the book to come and get you."

"Why?" I asked automatically, my voice was slowly returning to normal.

At this, Melvin grinned like a father to his son who just graduated high school. "You're going to be the new Yu-Gi-Oh villain!"

I paused, hoping he was joking, but it didn't seem so.

"Like hell I am."

Melvin's grin grew. "What was that?"

I stood up, backing away, creating as much distance as possible between us. "There is no effing way that I will  _ever_ be the villain. I'm not sure where the hell your author got any idea that I would be but you can tell him that I said 'Fuck no'!"

Now with my back against the door, I fumbled for the handle. Upon finding it, I held firmly and twisted, pulling the door open.

"It seems you've still got some spunk, but there's no problem, Karl will break that," I felt hands on my shoulders, guiding me back into the room, "Tata!"

Melvin left the room, the door sliding shut with a click. I was all alone with Karl and my heart was racing too fast for me to catch up with it.

"It seems," Karl began, pushing me roughly onto the bed, "That we're completely alone. This should be fun."

He had a knife. A knife; gleaming, clean, silver reflecting in the dim lighting. His eyes were maniacal, he meant business. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. He placed a hand on one cheek and ran his knife along the other.

"Such nice, soft skin." He muttered.

His face was close to mine, too close for comfort. I could  _feel_ his breath.

"You would've made a wonderful edition to my collection… too bad."

I was suddenly aware that I was crying. Crying hard and I couldn't wipe the tears away.

"Heh, what's wrong sweetie? Let me get those for you." His hand was barely a centimeter away from my face when the wall came crashing down.

Cleveland came flying through the gaping hole in the wall. Sunlight was streaming in. Then Karl was down, Cleveland was on top of him and over all the pandemonium I heard him shout; "Run!"

I was off, through the hole in the wall. Everything was a blur, my eyes were still adjusting to the light, but I still ran. When I could see clearly, I was in front of a sleek purple convertible. The window was slowly coming down. I could see blond hair and tan skin hidden beneath a pair of thick black sunglasses.

He spoke with a loud, obnoxious voice, "Get in the car if you want to live!"

I didn't think, I just got in and the car tore away.

"Bloody hell, Marik, fifty more miles and I'm driving!"

 


	5. In Which Marik is an Idiot

"No…," I shook my head, "Bakura and Marik?"

Leaning into the front end of the car, I poked Bakura's face for good measure. He was real, and had an amazing complexion too.

"You're real!" I squeaked, "I guess it makes sense, with Melvin being here and everything but… wait a second! If Marik's here- but Melvin was just there? Could there be- no! Wait, what's going on?"

"Oh don't worry," Marik chimed in, "Melvin and I have separated now, and he kept leaving the toilet seat up, the bastard!"

Their personalities were matched to the T, it really was Marik and Bakura. I really shouldn't have been nearly as surprised as I was with their appearance; it wasn't all that far-fetched when I thought about it. I mean, I had just escaped from being kidnapped by Melvin for God's sake.

"So what the plan?" I asked, sitting back in my seat.

"Uh, well…" Bakura hesitated.

"We don't have one." Marik interjected.

"So… we're just going to keep driving forever?"

"Well if you have a better plan-" Marik huffed angrily.

"By all means, do tell us." Bakura finished.

"We could travel around the world recruiting an army and then have a face-off with Takahashi's team?" I suggested energetically.

"No." Bakura replied.

"But Bakura! I liked that plan!" Marik whined.

"The less people that are in on this, the better."

"Humph! Fine then, what's your great idea?" I pouted, sinking down into my seat with my arms folded.

"Yeah, Fluffy!" Marik added.

"I don't know right now," Bakura said crankily, "Let's just keep driving, I'll think of something."

"We have to go to my house, I need clothes."

"That's where they'll be expecting you to go. Do you know anyone who might be able to lend you some?" Bakura asked.

"Bea. She has a lot of my stuff at her apartment anyway."

"Where does she live?"

" 126 Baytecurn Avenue in Toronto."

Bakura paused for a moment. "We're in Texas… we can make it there by eleven tonight."

"But," I protested, "We can't get there in less than a day!"

Bakura glanced back at me through the mirror. "Obviously you've never driven through the states with Marik."

There was a screech and I was thrown back into my seat.

"I'd advise you to put your seatbelt on," Bakura commented, "And do try not to vomit in the car, it's… a rental."

He didn't have to tell me twice, I buckled up as quickly as I could and held on for dear life as Marik screech through the scorching desert.

It was odd how comfortable I felt with Marik and Bakura, it felt as if I'd known them for a very long time. I suppose I had, but only through a screen of pixels.

"Wait… why are you saving me? Aren't you supposed to be the villains?"

"Just to screw with Takahashi," Bakura explained, "I don't like being ordered around." He added begrudgingly.

"Apparently we aren't good enough for him anymore." Marik scowled.

"What do you mean?" I asked suspiciously.

"It doesn't matter right now." Bakura snapped.

An hour or so passed uneventfully and I began to drift off to sleep. In the back-round I could hear Bakura's steady breathing and Marik's soft snores.

_Wait,_ I thought suddenly,  _isn't Marik supposed to be driving!?_

In three seconds flat I was fully awake.

"Marik! Marik!" I leapt to the front seat in a flash and slapped Marik across the face.

"What the friggin' frig!" Marik sat up with a start, his eyes wide.

The car was veering off to the side. The guard rail was low and we could easily flip over the side and of course we were on a fucking bridge. Great.

"Grab the wheel, Marik, you idiot!" I screeched.

"Bloody hell…" Bakura has awoken.

Marik grabbed the wheel and slammed on the breaks. The car had stopped but I continued to move. I rolled forward and smacked my head hard against the front window. I felt the glass crack beneath my skull and I couldn't help thinking that it should've been the other way around, but thank god it wasn't. Everything was suddenly still.

"Ow…" I whined.

"Frig," Marik cussed, "That was… frig, my arms hurt."

"Your arms hurt? I'm pretty sure my skull was fractured!" I complained, sitting up.

"You're still alive?!" Marik exclaimed.

"Obviously," I replied with all the venom I could muster, "Where did you guys get this car anyways?"

"We stole it from Takahashi," Bakura answered, "I was happily surprised they didn't send the whole armada after us."

"Ah," suddenly everything made sense, "We need to get out of the car."

"Why? It's not that bad, we can still drive in it!" Marik said hopefully.

I shook my head. "It's not that, just get out and I'll explain."

"What if I don't want to?" Marik asked defiantly.

"Marik just get out of the bloody car." Bakura sighed and opened the door.

Eventually we coaxed Marik out of the car.

"There better be a good friggin' reason for this." He huffed.

"It's obvious, isn't it? From what I've heard of Takahashi he seems like the kind of guy who would think to jack up a car and let you think that you stole it when really he set all kinds of traps in it. Y'know, like sleeping gas and a tracking device?"

"How did you come to that conclusion?" Bakura looked both impressed and surprised.

"I have an over active imagination and sometimes my guesses are right, other times I just look silly."

"… So you might not even be right?" Bakura asked.

"But it's good to be cautious!"

"I suppose." Bakura sighed, "Well, we'd better start walking."

I followed after Bakura, Marik close behind me. Finally, I got a good look around me. We were smack dab in the middle of a highway, in the woods.

"So, um… how long do you think until we get… someplace?" I questioned.

"I have no idea."

"Great~!" I said sarcastically.

 


	6. In Which a Pizza Faced Boy Pees Himself

We hiked up the road,  _one_  of us a mess of noise. Marik would not shut-up, which you could say was a given. An hour earlier it had been his back, two hours ago a scratch from the car crash and now it was his feet.

"My feet hurt, Bakura!" Marik whined.

"Well what do you want me to do about it?" Bakura retorted.

"I don't know, just something!"

"Hey!" I clapped my hands together, "I could give you a piggy back ride!"

Marik stared at me blankly. "Really?"

"No you bloody idiot, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Bakura chimed in crankily.

"No, I've heard much stupider things before." Marik countered.

"Like what?" Bakura asked, tiredly.

"Like your face Bakura! Ha!" Marik jeered.

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

"Yes it does, because I say so!"

They continued their argument without any consideration to my presence, it's something you get over quickly though. As they argued behind me we neared the top of a hill. A wave of excitement washed through me. Not far ahead, a lone gas station rested amidst the trees.

"Look!" I pointed to it excitedly.

"Civilization! They better have a spa…" Marik grumbled.

"Marik, it's a gas station. The only thing you can manage to get there is food poisoning and Hepatitis B." Bakura remarked sarcastically.

It was odd to see something so real and normal after the recent course of events. I was kidnapped and kept inside a trunk with only the company of a (quite literally) bloody chainsaw. Then I'd been led inside an extravagant yakuza-style base and just barely escaped from it. Directly following that I'd crashed a luxurious car and once again, just barely escaped. And now, after miles (I assumed) of walking. We'd come to a gas station. Just a normal, mundane gas station; it was a nice change.

"So you guys have money, right?" I asked hopefully.

"Uh… no." Marik replied.

Bakura's frown turned upside-down, a maniacal grin overtaking his usually grumpy visage. It was kind of creepy, and familiar.

"Though I don't think that'll be a problem much longer."

_Can't he smile normally?_ I wondered, but, then again, he was an age-old evil mastermind.

I didn't take long for us to formulate the plan. It was simple; Marik was going to pretend that he had a gun in his pocket and threaten to shoot people, then Bakura and I would collect the money the cashier and bolt for it. Of course, it didn't actually end up going that way.

"Nobody move," Marik shouted (which really wasn't all that different from his speaking voice), "Or I'll shoot you… with this gun, because it is definitely a gun… and not just a hand, because that would be stupid and I… Malik Blishtar, am not stupid!"

Worst. Plan. Ever. I made a mental note not to make plans that revolved around Marik again. I was hopeful that everyone in the store was even stupider than Marik and would believe his weak charade.

"… you just have your hand in your pocket." The cashier- a pizza faced young man- stated blandly, not fazed in the slightest.

"And I have this in my hand." Out of his jacket, Bakura produced a short, curved knife.

"Bakura that's dangerous!" I exclaimed on sight of it.

Bakura gave me a look, one that said, "Really? You're almost as bad as Marik." Of course he didn't actually say it, but his eyes did.

The cashier looked like he might have pissed himself and the patches of skin around his acne were as white as a sheet. "N-now calm down sir."

"Bakura I had this handled!" Marik thrust his hand out of his pocket in exasperation.

Bakura rolled his eyes at him and fixed a cold hard stare at the cashier, whom I'm certain b that point had peed himself. "Give us the money."

With shaking hands, the cashier fumbled beneath the counter and took out a tiny key, barely larger than my pinky finger.

"I know a homemade cream that could get rid of your acne." I said casually, leaning on the counter.

The cashier looked at me like I was crazy.

_Right,_ I thought to myself,  _I'm holding up a gas station._

I wondered if anybody had noticed that I was missing yet. If they had they certainly could never imagine that I was holding up a gas station with two anime characters, it was even beyond my imagination skills, though, when I thought about, Jay might've guessed. I haven't mentioned Jay before, have I? I suppose it was the cashier's acne that reminded me of him. Jay is one of my closest friends. He has horrible acne and 'an olve oil hair dye job' as Bea puts it. Basically his hair is beyond greasy. Like, worse than Severus Snape greasy, if you catch my drift.

Jay always gets super pissy with me when I do something dangerous.

_He's gonna shit himself when he hears about this._ I smirked.

Sirens broke through my thoughts.

I threw a panicked look at my partners in crime. "Run!" I didn't have to tell them twice.

Marik was quick on his feet; he passed through the sliding doors first. I was second out, it took me a moment to catch sight of Marik. Marik had found us a ride; a motorcycle with the keys left in the ignition, it was almost too good to be true. I took one glance at the side car and hopped onto the back. In a few minutes, Bakura hurried out carrying a sack. He cast me a disdainful glare on sight of the side car.

"You can't be picky! Get in!" I yelled crossly.

Grumbling, Bakura climbed on and we tore off onto the road.

There were many conversations throughout the drive, most of them were started by Bakura's complaints and none of them were of any great importance. The sun soon settled behind the tree tops and we drove on in darkness, our motorcycle's headlights piercing through the night.

"Do you have any idea where we are?" Marik asked suddenly.

"I've never been in America… wait! We're in Detroit!" My eyes lit up.

I was so close to home, I could smell it in the air; home. And French fries. We must have been somewhere near a MacDonald's.

"How the hell do you know that?" Bakura had been cross the whole drive, I guess it was mostly my fault, I probably should've given up the back of the motorcycle to the ancient villain but oh well.

"There's a sign." I replied, not feeling sorry in the least.

"Jeez, Bakura, there's a sign." Marik seemed happy to make Bakura feel stupid.

Soon I'd be home at last. I took a deep breath of the polluted air.  _Good riddance to America,_ I thought smugly.

The sun had risen once again by the time we pulled over to the curb outside Bea's place. It was a mystery to me how we'd made it there so fast, but I was in no position to question it. Marik hadn't stopped grinning since we first hopped onto the motorcycle and his expression didn't changed in the slightest as he skipped up to Bea's door.

"Ding dong!" Marik chirped, leaning in to ring the door bell.

"What's the point of saying ding dong if you're going to ring the bell?" Bakura leaned against the railing with his arms crossed.

The soft sound of movement followed shortly, along with a series of thumps. The door swung open smoothly to reveal Bea clad in sweat pants and a t-shirt, large bags under her eyes indicated she'd been on her Mac  _all_  night.

Bea paused. "'Kay, who drugged me?"

Nobody responded.

"No, I'm serious, who slipped what into my drink?" Bea asked.

"Bea, did you miss me?" I threw my arms over my best friend.

"Uh, sure. Why?" she answered, her eyes stil lingering on Marik and Bakura.

"You're kidding right?" my eyebrows knotted together, "I was missing for days!"

"I kind of thought you were sick." Bea scratched her head.

"You're the worst friend ever." I pouted.

"Ahem! Isn't there something you're forgetting?" Marik interjected.

I waved him off. "Oh she knows who you are!"

"I think he meant the whole ordeal in general." Bakura pressed furthur.

"Oh, right… yeah that," I glanced down, "We're coming in."

Bakura, Marik, and I filed into the tiny dorm space. Bea parents lived in Vancouver, but there was no way they could separate us, so they let her live in one of the school dorms and send money every month. They were pretty lax.

"Well thanks guys, it's not like I was doing anything." Bea said sarcastically.

"Tumblr doesn't count, this is bigger." I attempted a glare at her.

"What could be bigger than Tumblr?"

"How 'bout the fate of our universe?" I replied shortly.

"Shit, that's pretty big," Bea sat down, "I think we should start with the basics and you can explain why there are anime characters in my line of vision, or at all, for that manner."

"Well, basically…" I shuffled my feet awkwardly, searching for a good way to explain, "You remember that guy who made Yu-Gi-Oh?"

"I rike money?" Bea suggested.

"Yeah, him. Well I think he started running out of ideas."

"Yeah. Zexal," Bea commented, "No really, Zexal."

"I guess he decided I'd make a pretty good villain." I stared at my feet.

"Ha, hahaha. What the fuck?"

"So he sent Melvin to kidnap me." My voice quivered unintentionally; the last thing I needed was to break down right then.

"Ha. You want a hug?" Bea grinned.

I flinched and, out of the corner of my eye, Marik and Bakura did too.

"Woah, wait what?" Bea finally seemed to be taking it seriously.

"I managed to escape and these two were waiting for me." I managed a weak half-smile.

"Well, lucky you, then."

"And now we're kind of on the run." I said slowly.

I let my words settle in for a moment.

"And you're coming with us!" I added cheerily.

"Uh- lol, um, what?"

"Yeah, yeah, you are!" I smiled brightly.

"You always do this to me, drag me into things and they turn out horribly!" Bea stood up suddenly.

"Name one time!" I got to my feet too.

"Valentine's Day, grade eight!"

"Well, um, later than that!" I shrunk a little.

"Christmas Choir, grade nine!"

"Recently?" I was slowly receding back to my sitting position.

"Just last week, when you played dine 'n dash and left me with the bill!"

"I'll pay you back for that… sometime… listen, this is so much bigger than any of that! This concerns everyone! They're ripping holes in reality to come over here and take me back! Too many holes and this entire universe could combust! And I'd be gone forever; I'd lose a will of my own and just become a pawn! Bea, you're my friend and I need you!" I stared at her, hoping my eyes might get the message through her thick, stubborn skull.

"Fine."

" Great! So let's grab our stuff and go!" I started towards the closet but Bea caught my dress and pulled me back.

"No, no, no! I'm in my pajamas, I haven't showered and I'm not even wearing a bra!" Bea yelled.

"Well, I'm not wearing one either but you don't see me complaining." said Marik.

Bea glared at Marik, but her expression was softer than whenever she glared at me.

"Uh, Bri…" Bea stared at me, "You're kind of flashing everyone."

In all the excitement I'd completely forgotten about my tattered and torn dress which, apparently had ripped down the side, so that everyone had a clear shot of my bare breast. Upon Bea's exclamation, Marik and Bakura looked over. It was an innocent human instinct, but I still screamed at them.

"Don't look at me!" I shrieked, grabbing the nearest books and chucking them at their faces.

For once, surprisingly, my aim was wonderful and both books hit their targets square in the face- to the great displeasure of Marik and Bakura.

 


	7. In Which We Lose Bakura

"Brighton, get in the shower." Bea ordered, gabbing my arm as I slipped away to the hopeful safety of the living room.

It was a scene not unlike a mother trying to get her disobedient child into the bath. Only, I was not a disobedient child, I was just an overly excited teenaged fangirl. To Bea it was utterly confounding that I wanted to leave before bathing but at the time I don't think that the severity of our situation had completely registered in her head. She still saw Melvin as fictional and funny versus the reality of him being a murderer.

"Nuuu!" I squirmed out of Bea's unrelenting grip.

"You can't just not take a shower, it's disgusting!"

"Why can't we just go?" I asked, exasperated by my best friend's persistence.

Marik and Bakura sat idly by and watched the whole affair, Bakura had helped himself to a cup of tea (how very British of him). Bea saw her chance and seized the mug, throwing its contents all over little unsuspecting me.

"What the-" Bakura began crossly.

"See, now you're dirty- take a shower." Bea cut Bakura off and gestured towards the bathroom.

"I don't need clothes to be free!" I vocalized, attempting to slip out of the boundaries of my shirt.

"Bri put your shirt back on!" Bea shrieked

"No!" I protested.

"You're flashing everyone, wasn't that a problem five minutes ago?" she reasoned.

"That was unintentional flashing, it didn't count." I argued haughtily.

Bea looked at Marik and Bakura pleadingly before realizing that they were both of the male species and I was in my bra (to which I didn't see much harm in considering they were both totally ga-)

"Get out, get out, get out!" Bea screamed, quite literally shoving Bakura into the kitchen.

"You two are being blithering idiots." Bakura complained.

"Once my dad tried to force me into the shower," Marik began, "He brought in his snake Cornelius and said, 'If you don't get in the shower now, Billy, Cornelius will castrate you.' But then I said, 'No.' and dad let Cornelius loose and locked me in there. And he said that he would let me out when I was done but then he forgot about me and I had to run around the room naked for like five hours and by the time he found me I was ready to take a shower. Actually it wasn't really a shower, it was more like a puddle."

"How are you not dead yet?" Bakura asked.

"I'll go take a shower now…" I gave up, slightly traumatized by Marik's tale.

Deciding to redundantly put my shirt back on before heading to the shower, I had one arm in a sleeve when the wall came down. Bea threw herself on the ground, covering her head. I was unfazed by the tumbling bricks until one hit me on the head and I fell down. Rubbing my head, I regained my stance prepared to see Melvin, but instead it was the polar opposite. Standing in the gaping hole that should have been a wall was Yugi, closely followed by his usual entourage of Joey, Tristan, and Tea.

"You can't burst into my apartment! Why didn't you just knock?" Bea fussed, kicking a brick in frustration.

"What are you even doing here?!" Bakura asked in bewilderment.

"The jig is up, Bakura!" Joey pointed a finger accusingly at him.

"Joey you know I always have the first line!" yelled Yugi.

"I'm still trying to get my shirt on!" I squealed, searching frantically for the head hole.

"Why is everybody yelling?!" Marik screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Both of you shut-up!" both Bakura and Bea shouted in sync.

"I like peanut butter sandwiches!" bellowed Tristan.

"I thought you said we were going to lunch?!" Tea shrieked, glancing around in search of food that was not there.

"No, that's after this!" Joey corrected.

"We're here to challenge you to a card game!" Yugi announced.

The screaming battle was going nowhere. Bea and I glanced at each other, we both knew that if we started to play a card game we'd end up there for at least another three chapters. So our solution was evident; we turned and sprinted straight out the hole in the wall, hoping that Marik and Bakura would take a hint and follow.

"Did they just run away from a children's card game? They can't do that; it's against the rules!" Yugi floundered about for an explanation.

"Screw the rules!" Bea shouted.

I turned half circle and stuck my tongue out at the group as a farewell, and good riddance too.

* * *

It felt like we'd been running for hours though it had really only been about ten minutes. Still, ten minutes of exercise outside was more than I could handle. Exercise and outdoors were not my strong points.

"Can't… run… anymore. Internal bleeding… dying." I exhaled between breaths as my stomach contorted itself into painful positions and my lungs tried to crawl up throat.

"Suck it up." Bea replied, wiping sweat beads from her brow.

"Where… are we…. even… going?" I asked.

At that, Bea stopped and supported herself using a nearby park bench.

"I hate you sometimes." She expressed with passion.

"Where did Fluffy go?" Marik enquired.

I looked about with the sudden realization that Bakura was nowhere in sight. We had lost a fictional character, a one-of-a-kind, real life, fictional character. How do you even manage that?

"Bea, you lost Bakura!" I accused.

"How is this my fault?"

"Well, you  _were_  in the lead." Marik resoned.

"No- I just- ugh!"

"It's okay, though, Bakura wanders off a lot."

"Well what do you usually do?" I asked.

* * *

"Here, Bakura! C'mon!" I called, clicking my tounge.

Marik cupped his hands around his mouth, amplifying his already loud voice,"Fluffy? Fluffy!"

"You do realize he's not an animal." Bea said distastefully. She seemed utterly disgusted with the both of us.

"We should put up lost and found posters!" I suggested gleefully.

"Oh, you're enjoying this, aren't you?" Bea scowled.

We continued on in the same manner for some five minutes of so before being approached by a kindly old lady wrapped in a knit shawl.

"I'm sorry dear, but did you lose your kitty?" the woman asked.

"Yeah! He's like 5.10 and has long white hair that sticks up in odd places." I replied.

"Just move on." Bea gently led the confused elderly woman away.

Bea returned. "C'mon, we can cover more ground if we split up."

"Whatever you say, Fred…" I groaned.

* * *

I wandered around aimlessly occasionally calling out for Bakura. I looked at my cell phone (which I had completely forgotten I had until Bea had returned it earlier on in the day), 3:48.

_School would be out by now_ , I thought absently.

Almost as if on cue, I looked up and saw Jay. He hadn't changed at all in the few days since I'd last seen him; it still didn't look like he'd washed his hair and h sure as hell hadn't started using the proactive that Bea gave him for Christmas every year, but still, I was glad to see him. Jay seemed to have also just noticed me because he dropped his Starbucks coffee (he's such a hipster) spilling it all over his shoes.

"Shit, shit, shit…" He muttered for a few seconds before running over, "Bri, you haven't been at school for days!"

"Great, Jay! You can help!" I grinned and kept walking.

"Where have you been?" Jay asked, jogging to catch up with me.

I yawned, "Long story, we're looking for Bakura."

"Like, a cosplayer?"

"No, the real Bakura. We lost him while we were running away from Yugi and Tristan and Tea and Joey."

Jay stopped me, taking me by the arms and looking me straight in the eyes, "Bri, are you sure you're okay?"

I broke from his grip, keeping my eyes locked to his dark brown ones, "Yep! Especially now that I'm away from Melvin."

"How 'bout we go to Starbucks and get you something to drink, I think you're delirious."

"We can do that  _after_  we find Bakura."

"… okay, whatever you say, Bri." Jay sighed, still staring at me worriedly.

As soon as Jay shut his mouth, I heard it; Bakura cussing, his choice of words and British accent were unmistakable.

I slipped through the gathering crowd, diving under elbows and around stroller. At the center of it all was Bakura and some potbellied man with his truck.

"I'm tellin' yeh, yer faerie ass was in the middle o' da road."

"I don't care where my ass was, your bloody truck nearly hit me."

"If yer not gon'r 'polagize then yer lookin' fer a fight."

"I'd be happy to duel you and your food baby into oblivion if I had time for a sorry bunch such as yourselves, but if you couldn't tell, I'm a little busy."

I watched the rage fire up in the man's eyes and saw it a fit time to intercede.

"Excuse me, sorry, but I couldn't help but over hear."

"Who'r you? Tha faerie's boyfrien'?" the hillbilly afforded himself a chuckle.

"Actually, I'm a girl but I can see how you'd get confused. It's probably due to the fact that your mother is probably your father's sister, this is why they illegalized incest in the first place. You can't really develop fully as a product of it, but that's okay, it's not your fault."

When I'm scared or nervous, sometimes I talk in circles and not really say anything at all. Facing a large balding man that could probably lift a truck, most people would piss themselves. Instead, I unintentionally provoked an attack from the proverbial sleeping bear.

The man wound his arm up to punch, and I probably really would've deserved it if the impact had come, but power of the hit landed on Jay who had dove in front of the incoming fist.

"Holy shit, Jay! Are you okay?" I gasped in a moment of panic.

_I broke Jay._

"…'m fine…" he mumbled.

"Great! Uh- use this to call an abulance," I threw my cell in the air and grabbed Bakura's hand, "Run!"

 


	8. In Which the Roof is Raised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half is written by CanisLuka

I threw the door open and collapsed onto the first raised surface that appeared before me; a bed. After hours of driving without rest I was prepared for the welcoming feel of freshly laid sheets and fluffed pillows. I was not disappointed.

"Finally, a bed! I can sleep!" I curled up on the warm sheets.

"I was the one driving while you snored away in the back seat." Bakura snarled.

"I don't snore!" I protested.

"Just shut-up, I don't want to hear anymore arguing." Bea said drowsily, finding refuge in her own bed.

"This room is crap! I mean, frig, with what we paid-" Marik commented as he waltzed through the door.

" _I_ paid, thank you very much." said Bea crossly.

"Technically your parents paid." I added.

Bea slammed her face down into a pillow and released a silent scream of frustration.

"Just go to sleep."

The silence that followed lasted much too long. Have you ever been to a sleepover only to have everyone fall asleep around you? You're just sitting there, wide awake, and suddenly all the little sounds are like thunder in your ears. A little bird chirps and it's like there's a creepy pasta monster outside your window. You're able to hear every movement throughout the building and then you can't even imagine ever sleeping because there is so much happening.

I sat in the darkness with all those thoughts running through my mind (and many more) for a full ten minutes or so before speaking up.

"I can't sleep." I whispered.

"Me too!" Marik whined.

"Well, I'm trying to sleep, so if you don't mind; do fuck off." Bakura grumbled from the couch.

I poked Bea's still form. She didn't budge.

"I'm pretty sure Bea's dead." I announced.

"She's sleeping, you should do the same." hissed Bakura.

"But now I'm wide awake!"

"Then just close your eyes and shut-up. It's almost like you're asleep." Bakura suggested sarcastically.

"That's boring! Let's go out and do something exciting! C'mon Marik!" I jumped up and ran for the door. Marik did not follow, "Marik?"

"He's asleep." said Bakura.

"God damnit!" I scowled, sitting back down on the bed.

As I opened my mouth to spew more needless complaints at Bakura there was a sudden, loud  _thump_  that resounded throughout the night. It was coming from the door.

"Bakura!" I breathed, trying to keep my panic in check.

Bakura threw back his covers and stood in front of Marik's bed. My heart jumped in my chest when another  _thump_ hit the door.

"Marik!" I suppressed a squeal.

Realizing Marik was going to need more incentive to wake, I promptly kicked him in the head.

"What the ever-loving frig?!" Marik sat up, bleary eyed, and angry.

Another  _thump._ Whoever it was at the door was starting to get restless.

"Bea? Bea! Wake the fudge up right now!" I slapped her frantically.

There was one more  _thump_ before Bea sat herself up (quite irritably, I might add).

The door caved in. I grabbed Bea's arm and squeezed like my life depended on it. Peeking through the remnants of our door was a featureless white face.

"Hey guys." Slenderman waved.

It was Bea who screamed first; her shrieks came in erratic bursts. I screamed much more consistently, whilst squeezing Bea's arm. Bea punched my shoulder and I quit screaming and let go of her. Eventually Bea's screams also died down. It seemed that the silence was just what Slenderman was waiting for.

"Are you guys having a sleepover? I love sleepovers. May I join in on the sleepover?" Slenderman's monotone voice filled the room.

I wasn't completely sure how to respond to our situation so I just stared, and apparently that was everyone else's conclusion as well.

"Are we going to have a pillow fight? I do not like pillow fights. You could take someone's eye out." Slenderman continued.

_But he doesn't have any eyes…_ I thought to myself.

Bakura cleared his throat, "Actually we were just trying to sleep, so please do leave."

"Oh, then I will help you sleep. I know lots of lullabies." Slenderman loomed over us.

"Frig, just leave us alone." Marik glared, he was obviously upset over his loss of beauty sleep.

" _Hush little baby, don't you cry,"_ From behind Slenderman's back, emerged a bushel of tentacles,  _"Slendy's going to sing you a lullaby."_

This time, everyone screamed all at once. Our screaming all ended with tentacles attached to our faces.

* * *

Streamers. Streamers fucking everywhere. Streamers, popped balloons, red solo cups. And trees. Lots of fucking trees. This is the shit I had to wake up to after that. I had no clue where I was. But I didn't care. Because I was soaking wet for no apparent reason. This left me very confused. So, naturally, I took a longer look around me.

We seemed to be in the middle of a forest somewhere. Which was weird because from what I remember we were in a fairly suburban area before. I got up, and after falling down a couple hundred times, I managed to regain my balance enough to scout around. There was a lot of wide open space. And rocks. And trees. Did I mention trees? Because there were a lot of trees. It also occurred to me that were people around me too. Like Bri. Bri looked like she had just been attacked by some rogue kindergarteners with dollar store craft supplies. Upon closer inspection, the pieces of paper glued to her looked kind of familiar. There were about eight of them with things written on them like "STOP FOLLOWING ME" and "HE'S ALWAYS WATCHING".

Oh. Right.

With that happy thought, I glanced over at Marik. He was passed out in a mammoth pile of chips. He was talking in his sleep.

"I am the king… the buffet table, Steve… Steve, that's my dip THAT'S MY DIP."

After a brief spasm, he went completely limp. All I could do for a while was stare. I eventually got over my bout of slight disturbance, and I decided to look around for Bakura.

I searched around the small area for any sign of him. I was starting to get a bit worried. But only a bit worried, because this was Bakura and he could handle himself pretty well. It was the rest of us who couldn't without him. All of a sudden, I could see a bunch of weird glowy spots on the ground out of the corner of my eye. I turned around to face the tall tree behind me and looked up.

There was Bakura, swinging from a branch with a disco ball hanging from his feet and a symbol carved into his chest. After a short heart attack, I realized he wasn't on a noose. Thank God. His hair was sticking up all over the place and I'm pretty sure there was a penis drawn on his forehead. The still bloodied symbol was a circle with an X marked through it. Now that I had found him, the question was how to get him down.

I threw a rock at his head. It probably wasn't the most graceful plan, but it woke him up. He groaned and rubbed his head where the rock had made impact. He looked around and down at his chest.

"Oh, bullocks."

"Yeah, hi."

He gave me a baffled look. "Why on earth are you wet? Where the bloody hell are we?"

"Idunno. I think they used you as a party ornament last night."

"How do you plan to get me down?"

"…. Idunno….."

He gave a deep, frustrated sigh. I could see he was thinking. He perked up and managed to wiggle his hand out of the ropes holding him.

"Just a moment."

He shoved his hand down his pants. He was looting around for something. He suddenly pulled out a knife. What the hell.

"What the hell?! You just casually carry a knife around with you in your pants all of the time?" I asked, shocked but not entirely surprised.

"It comes in handy." he answered, giving a shrug.

Reaching up, he started to cut the already flimsy looking support. There was a cracking sound almost immediately. Before he could get anymore done, the branch above him snapped, sending him plummeting to the ground. He landed directly on top of the disco ball, his back bending into a horribly forced arch.

"Holy shit! Are you okay?" I ran over to him as fast as I could.

He was fine, fortunately. A little shaken up, but fine. He brushed himself off and stretched. There was an even bigger cracking sound behind me, so I turned around. The tall tree toppled over, nearly crushing me and Bakura in the process.

There was a pregnant silence. I faced the anime character to my left.

"Go wake up Bri."

"Why do I have to do it?"

"Because I'm wet and angry and sick of this shit!" I argued, physically turning him around and pushing him.

He awkwardly poked at my sleeping friend. "Um… Brighton? Brighton wake up!" Bri's face scrunched up in annoyance.

"Get away from me, you're HURTING ME." She swung a fist at him, clocking him in the face with a surprisingly well executed right hook.

"Fucking bloody hell!" Bakura stumbled back. He now had a noticeable bump on his head and his eye was starting to swell.

"Oh, okay… just leave her there…" I said, shifting away slowly. Bakura glanced over at Marik still face down in his "chip throne".

"Marik?"

He flailed about, almost adding another hit to Bakura's arsenal of injuries.

"I AM THE KING!"

"I say we just leave him too…" Bakura decided.

"It's not like they're the most rational when they're awake anyway."

Bakura sighed. "So where do you suppose we are?"

I gave a half hearted shrug, still concerned about the fact that my hair and clothes were dripping with water. "I don't know! Do you remember there being a river or a lake nearby?"

"… No."

It was my turn to do some sighing. "Well, we have to go somewhere to get a brush."

"Why?" A confused expression formed on his face. I knew it was a weird thing to prioritize, but I had an excellent reason.

"Because if we don't, my hair will tangle."

I could visibly see him judging me. "I don't see how that's such a big d-"

No. None of that was going to go down. This was urgent as fuck.

I grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him in with a tug. "You don't understand. My HAIR. Will TANGLE."

We only had to walk a couple of minutes to get to a suitably large truck stop. One half was a diner, the other a convenience store. We were both pretty hungry at that point, so we thought it would be a good idea to get something cheap to eat. There was a loud jingling sound as we entered. Oddly, there were a lot of young people, like teenage girls and frat boys. The type of people you wouldn't expect to hang out where truckers stop to take a shit. There were some maps on the counter in front of an old, vintage Coke ad. Bakura grabbed one from the "Local" pile.

"Connecticut?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"I thought we were in New Yor-"

"Yes, we were…"

"This is some Blair Witch shit going on here…"

This guy randomly yelled at us from across the diner.

"Hey!" He was surrounded my some jock looking guys. "Wicked party last night! Tell that hot, tanned, blonde chick I got a reminder of her!" He then proceeded to pull up his sleeve to show us a giant tattoo of Marik's face plastered on his shoulder.

I could feel Bakura's hands holding my head and guiding me into the convenience store. "Don't make eye contact…"

There were less people in this area of the stop. Less people to recognize us. "We should probably get looking."

The far right wall of the store was completely empty. Every shelf and hook was bare. There was a gawky store worker sweeping in the other aisle. I decided to ask him what was up with it.

"You don't know? Dude, there was this awesome party! I can't even explain it! You had to be there!" He put his earphones back on and walked away.

That sure was helpful.

"Well, that's great and all, but WHY AM I WET?"

We continued to stock up on stuff we would need. Rubbing alcohol, bandages, anti-biotic cream, pain killers, nail polish remover, and shampoo. That was all for Bakura. After that, hair brushes, naturally. And a lot of candy. Because it had been a fairly traumatic day, and we both needed some form of comfort.

Suddenly, Bakura grabbed me and pulled us both behind an empty chip stand.

"It's that guy." he whispered. There was an odd panic in his voice.

"What guy?"

"The guy from the place."

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific." I said, rolling my eyes.

"He called me a fairy."

" Well, that wasn't very nice."

He glanced over my shoulder and froze. "He's coming this way. Hide me!"

"Where?!"

"I don't know! Somewhere!"

Luckily, there was a huge freezer section right behind us. I quickly shoved Bakura in before the man could see. He walked up to me and stared, frowning.

"Can I get through?" he asked.

"Nope. Closed currently."

"Listen 'ere, I-"

I had to think on my feet. "Do you have any ID?"

"Not on me b-"

"Can I get your name please?"

He stared silently at me. What the hell was this guy's problem?

"Your name, please, sir?" I insisted.

There were visible sweat drops running down his face. "Con… netic- Kenny Ket. My name is Kenny Ket."

I quickly checked behind me to see Bakura exit through a back door.

"Sounds legit. Excuse me."

I hurried past him and rushed out the door. Bakura was hiding behind an ice box, clutching our bags to his chest. Probably getting a lot of blood on them too.

"Well, that was a close one." I sighed. "We better head back."

A pained look crossed his face. "Do we really have to?"

"Oh come on, Bakura. Like you'd really abandon the love of your life."

This was the most in denial I had ever seen someone. "He certainly bloody well isn't-"

"Don't you even try. I know everything." I leaned in closer, grinning. "Everything…."

He glared at me. He was flustered and blushing. His face was beet red. It was actually very sweet, all things considered.

The tattoo guy from earlier was talking with his buddies by the bike rack. "This girl actually set her friend on fire. She was screaming about the fire nation taking over the earth kingdom. We just poured a bunch of club soda over the friend's head. Nobody drinks that shit anyway."

"Hey! I drink that shit!" I yelled at him.

The nerve of some people.

 


	9. In Which Bathrooms are Pertinent

I opened my eyes once, but the sunlight was too torturous to endure and I quickly squeezed them shut again. Blindly raising my hands, I rubbed the crust from the corners of my eyes. Using my hand as a shield from the glare of the sun, I opened my eyes again. Even with my makeshift sun shield the rays of the mid-day sun bore into my eyes relentlessly.

"Why does the daylight hate me so much?" I whimpered.

Mustering all my energy I leapt to my feet and instantaneously the world around me began to darken into black. Quickly I sat down again and waited for my head to stop spinning. Once I was ready, I rose to my feet ever so slowly. Success.

Still fairly groggy, I wandered into a toilet paper covered structure that I assumed was a bathroom, not really caring that I was heading into the men's side. Every tile of the room was covered with fresh graffiti. Several of the pictures were of penises, others were of knives or unrecognizable symbols, but mostly there were just variable profanities.

"It smells like piss in here…" I mumbled.

_Oh,_ I thought,  _bathrooms generally smell of piss, don't they?_

Through the least cracked mirror, I stared at my disheveled reflection. I swear to god my hair was defying gravity. Mascara stained my under eyes, exaggerating the dark circles.

As I focused on the mirror quite a few things caught my attention. One; I clearly hadn't washed my make-up off before passing out. And two; THERE WERE PAGES GLUED TO ME. Not just any ordinary pages either, no, these pages had crude pencil drawings on them that had a striking resemblance to those featured in the popular Slender games. I stifled a scream and busied myself with removing one particular page glued in my hair.

"Ow!" I winced.

Further examination of my bodily state revealed yet another paper crumpled up in my cleavage. After several moments of de-crumpling I gazed upon what seemed to be a phone number written messily in red. I squinted at it.

"Is that written in blood or rust?" Tentatively, I stuck my tongue to the paper.

I immediately recoiled and gagged.

"Who gives out their phone number written in blood?"

I shifted my weight and cringed as something brush against my tailbone. I retrieved the object from my underpants; it was a twenty dollar bill.

"Nooooo," I sobbed, "Ew! And I think I'm hung-over too! Stupid Bri, you're sixteen - you can't be drinking alcohol!"

Without any warning at all, I was overcome with the sensation that the contents of my stomach were being forced back up the digestive track; I was going to puke. I ran out of the bathroom, seeking fresher air. On my way out I ran directly into something fluffy and white.

"Watch where you're going!" the brit snapped at me.

Unable to hold itself down any longer, the contents of my stomach crawled up my throat and projected all over Bakura.

Bakura did not look pleased about his current circumstances, in fact, he looked utterly pissed. I prepared myself for a bout of cusses, but it seemed as though he was trying with all his might to hold them back.

After a long pause, Bakura finally managed to hiss out, "There is so much wrong with this."

Almost instantly after Bakura uttered the last word, Marik came around the corner. Marik took one look at Bakura and vomited on him.

"Is that everyone? Or does that tattoo guy want to come and finish it all off? Now if you don't mind, I'll be bathing now."

"I was so close! So close to the potty… I almost made it this time!" Marik howled.

"What happened?" Bea asked upon entering the scene.

"Why is your hair wet?" I questioned.

"Well apparently you set me on  _fire_." replied Bea crossly.

"Oh, oops."

"No, sounds like it was quite purposeful."

"That explains the burns on my hands."

Bea pointed to the crumpled sheet I was holding. "What's that?"

"Oh god, I think it's the Slenderman's number." I whimpered.

"What makes you think that?"

"I found this in my underwear." I held up the twenty dollar bill.

"Ew."

"I know - that's what I said! I feel unclean!"

"Well the vomit on the corners of your mouth might be contributing to that." Bea commented.

I took some time to clean myself up a bit before returning to Bea and Marik.

"Bea, could you get this paper out of my hair?"

Bea tugged at it a bit. "It's stuck."

"Just cut it off." I sighed.

"But Bri-"

"JUST CUT IT OFF."

"It's not stuck  _that_ bad." Marik took a turn at pulling at the page.

I felt a lot of pull and then complete release as Marik stumbled backwards.

"Oh," Was all I heard Marik say.

"What?" I asked, my panic rising.

"Oh." Bea mumbled.

"It's okay; we can… glue it back on right?" Marik suggested.

"Marik that's not how hair works." Bea explained exasperatedly.

"… Bea, just take the scissors and cut the rest off." I sighed.

"You sure you wanna do that? I mean, you've been trying to grow it out for a while."

"It's just hair, I guess." I shrugged.

Ten minutes later I had a fairly well-done bob and my life's work of dead skin lay in ruins on the ground. Oh well; shit happens.

* * *

Bakura didn't seem all that happy with me, so I hid myself behind the map while he drove.

"Wait a second," I forget my fear of Bakura's wrath for a moment, "We were just in Gay City Sate Park _._ "

"Are you sure it wasn't Straight City State Park?" Marik asked.

"For the love of God, Marik!" Bea sighed.

"I wonder if we lost Melvin yet…" I trailed off, "We should check Police reports for chainsaw massacres that happened recently."

"I'm pretty sure American Libraries will let you do that." Bea responded.

"To the library!"

* * *

We let Marik and Bakura do the research because doing the research involved talking to a librarian and unfortunately since listening to a popular podcast I had developed an irrational fear of librarian. So Bea and I found ourselves wandering off to the manga section.

I scanned over the titles. I had either read or didn't want to read the majority of them so I pick one up at random to occupy myself. Flipping through the pages, I stopped at an interesting looking scene.

I pointed at two little blond girls depicted on the page. "Hey Bea, look! It's you and me! You're the angry one."

"I am not the angry one!" Bea yelled exasperatedly.

I shushed her and continued with my reading (which was basically looking at the images and gathering what I could from them.)"Why are you being so mean to me? Oh, it's okay, big brother saved me. He's scolding you! Haha! Big brother likes me more than you! Now mommy's scolding you - that's what you get! Wait, what's mommy doing? No! Big brother, help me! Yay! Big brother killed mommy! I love big brother!"

"You know you're just asking for it." Bea rolled her eyes.

"Hey, big brother's hugging me. Wait… wait - big brother I don't like you that way! Get away from me!" I threw the book at a wall and ran from it.

And of course since I was running, it was inevitable that I would run into Bakura. "Daddy, save me!" I cried, burying my face in his shirt.

"Daddy?" Bakura asked, one singular eyebrow arched high above the other.

"EVERYBODY GET DOWN." A high pitched effeminate voice pierced the air.

"Are they holding up the library?" a guy with a mustache wondered aloud, "Who holds up a library?"

Bea and I shared a glance. We knew exactly who would hold up a library even before Tea mounted the stairs waving a gun around.

"Where did you get that gun, Tea?" Yugi asked (apparently he was just as confused as we were).

"I swiped it off the cop that pulled us over earlier."

"Excuse me, ma'am? Ma'am, I think you're going to need to leave the building." The librarian urged.

"FRIENDSHIP MOTHERFUCKER!" and with that Tea shot the window.

The whole shattered glass and screaming people thing was an adequate distraction and we all were able to slip out of the building unnoticed. As we neared the car I felt something tugging at my sleeve.

"I have to go pee-tinkle!" Marik hissed.

"Seriously? Right now!?" I whispered back.

"Right now!"

"We told you to go like an hour ago!"

"I didn't have to go then. If you don't let me go right now I'll pee all over you!"

I grimaced. "No thanks. Bakura," I turned to him, "We have to find a washroom."

"Oh please, you can powder your nose later." He responded.

"Nope, I have to powder it now." I scowled.

We wandered purposefully as Marik was growing more agitated by every passing moment. Then we stopped. Well, I stopped and everybody else, in turn, did the same. I could hear something.

"Guys, I  _really_ have to go!"

"Shut-up, Marik." I crouched, slowly approaching the source of my horror.

"I'm so close I can smell them." Melvin yelled into the receiver, taking a deep breath in from his nose.

"No, no, no, you don't have to come. I'm fine by myself. I can take care of them easily!" Melvin held the phone away from his ear while someone yelled angrily in a foreign language. "Yes, I understand. I'll meet you at the airport."

"I don't have to pee anymore." Marik interjected.

We didn't even have to look at each other before jumping into the nearest car. The keys were already in the ignition and we tore through the parking lot.

"He's coming," I whispered, "The author."

 


	10. In Which the Past is Present

The sun scorched like the blazing flame it is and beat down on the unsuspecting possy panicking around a teal minivan. We had been stranded on the roadside for fifteen minutes and nobody was willing to walk to get help. Instead, Bakura claimed he could fix the car (I strongly suspected he was lying), so the other three of us sat around hardly knowing what to do. Marik lounged against a rock a safe distance from Bakura, watching him closely. Bea was refusing to sit in the dirt with me.

"Goddamn... Shit... Goddamn shit!" I pounded the ground without mercy, ending my senseless rant with a low groan.

Bakura seemed to think that the car's issue was one of it's wheely-things, so he was changing it. Whenever Bakura bent over Marik would raise his chin a bit and glance over but he quickly averted his gaze to the ground each time Bakura stood. After five-ish minutes of it, Bakura got a little irritated.

"Marik would you quit gawking and help," he grunted.

"Um, yes. Yes I will help. That is what I will do," Marik responded with a curt nod, feigning innocence.

A soft rumble sounded in the distance and a glint of metal captured my attention. A limo was winding its way down the road towards us.

"Car! Car, car, car!" Acting quickly I leapt onto the road, waving my arms frantically and shrieking at an unintelligible pitch.

"Brighton get out of the road!" yelled Bea.

The car grew nearer. I couldn't make out the driver through the tinted windows. Forgetting I was in the center of the road, I squinted at the car. Luckily it was broad daylight and the driver was able to see the petite blonde girl that probably looked like she was giving him the stink eye. At the last moment the car swerved dramatically, blocking both lanes of the highway.

The door popped open with a click and out strutted Cleveland. No longer suited in Yakuza garb, he towered over the group in a scruffy black dress shirt tucked into some black jeans. Even with the sleeves rolled up he must have been sweltering.

Without pause, I squealed, "Cleveland!" and ran to embrace him.

It had likely only been about a week since I'd seen him last but it felt like three whole years.

"Hey, shortstop, longtime no see," He grinned, patronizingly ruffling my hair, "I like your hair. Very," he searched for the right word, "Cute."

Bea was standing at the side of the road, arms crossed, staring at me with one eyebrow raised.

A silence followed.

Marik broke it. "Who're you?"

"He's seen me in my underwear!" I explained.

"Bri, you whore." Bea exclaimed sarcastically.

I tried to explain, "No, he was just  _helping_ me get undressed."

"That's ten times worse." Bea sighed, giving me her classic apprehensive-judgy look that was often singularly associated with my name.

"Let's just leave it at 'He's Cleveland', then." I finished.

"What are  _you_  doing here?" Bakura growled.

"I could ask you the same thing. I never thought you were much of the type to be an anti-hero, I took you for more of a full blown villain." Cleveland fixed his eyes on Bakura, it was tame as far as glares from Cleveland went.

"How do you two know each other?" I stared hard at Cleveland, barely giving Bakura a glance.

"It's a long story." Bakura interjected.

"Which reminds me, we probably don't have much time, so - can you help us out?" Bea cut in.

"I actually came to find you. Well, I was sent to find you but I wanted to find you too. For different reasons!" rambled Cleveland.

"Who sent you? Not-" I didn't even have to finish for Cleveland to answer.

"No, not him. I was never really working for him. I have another boss. My  _real_ boss. He wants to see you."

"Who's your real boss?"

"Can't tell you. At least not here, it's too dangerous." Cleveland's incredibly stereotypical lines were beginning to aggravate me.

Cleveland opened the car door and motioned for us to get in.

"Holy shit," Bea thumped her fist in her palm quite suddenly," You look like Benedict Cumberbatch!"

"I don't see it…" I shrugged as I settled into my seat.

* * *

"I'm sorry I called a whore back there," Bea placed a hand tenderly on my shoulder, "Everybody's seen you in your underwear. Heck, Brian's seen you in  _less_ than your underwear."

"What? When?"

"Remember the water park in grade eight?" Bea smirked.

"Oh yeah," I grimaced at the remembrance of the moment, and griped lowly as an afterthought, "I knew I should've worn a different swim top."

"I think the only one who hasn't seen you indecent is Jay, and that's a surprise." she said with a humourless laugh.

I turned in my seat to face her straight on. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, he'd kill to see that."

"Ew!"

The car halted.

"We're here." Cleveland announced dramatically.

* * *

Up elevators and stairs and hallways we traversed before coming to the room. It didn't even have a door so we just walked right in.

"You came to the right place."

The chair across the room swivelled to reveal Mokuba, his stout form dwarfed in the current room.

"Mokuba get out of my chair." Seto Kaiba appeared behind him

"But big brother-" Mokuba whined.

"Shut-up Mokuba." Kaiba sat in his chair and Mokuba struggled not miss being crushed by his ass.

"Good. You're all here." Kaiba finished.

"Well, yeah, you sent this asshole to get us." Bea stared at Kaiba quizzically briefly making a gesture to Cleveland.

There was a silence.

"Fuck you," Kaiba glared, "I assume you dumbasses have figured out what's going on."

"Well, yeah." I rolled my eyes, feeling intelligent for once.

"You should be more careful of what you put on the internet."

"Wait- what?" my fleeting moment of superiority was quashed.

"The website." Kaiba turned his computer to face me.

A dramatic pink laced background encompassed over twenty photos of me with the title; "The Pixie Doll Princess, By Jay Burmingham".

"Oh, Jesus Christ, Jay…" Bea averted her eyes and massaged her temples.

"Are you fucking kidding me," my inner harpie possessed my vocal folds briefly, "I'm poised to be a villain because of some photos of me smiling, and sleeping, and shit. Jason Buckingham is gonna get it when I get back."

" _If_  you get back." Bakura added.

Everyone seemed to have a genuine contemplative moment.

"I can help you. That is, if you let me." Kaiba stated.

"You're not really the helping type," Bea started slowly, "So what are  _you_ getting out of it."

"It's in  _everyone's_ best interest," Kaiba deadpanned, "And Yugi's working for him and I always like a good excuse to oppose him."

"Do you think it's worth the risk?" Bea turned to me for this question.

"I don't know," I said quickly, "What else are we supposed to do?"

"Don't answer my question with another fucking question." Bea responded.

We were all getting stressed.

"If you're really serious about going through with this, exit through the door to my right." Kaiba said, spinning his chair to face the window.

"Just to be clear, what exactly does going through with this entail?" I asked.

From Kaiba's chair came a low, grating sound.

"No, seriously, what are we supposed to do?" I repeated.

The groaning - which was decidedly of Kaiba's making - intensified, growing louder.

"If we go through the door will you shut the fuck up?" Bea yelled.

"Nnnnnnnnnnnnn- yes." Kaiba quieted abruptly.

Without much else to do or anywhere else to go, Bakura, Marik, Bea, and I, all left through Kaiba's aforementioned door.

Everything was gold and white. No, not white, off-white. Not an ivory, or eggshell but pearl. Probably not even that. It was a very specific white, okay? The furniture was like the shit you see in magazine. It was a magazine clean room, comparable to Buckingham Palace.

The lights went down. A recognizable, flamboyant, fabulous giggle echoed throughout the room.

"YES." Bea screamed exuberantly.

"NO." the rest of us cried collectively.

 


End file.
